11/30
The weight is thick
St. Louis humid heat
Wet towel
Tethering me to this earth
Let go
How do you let go
Without floating
Away
I am a balloon
Full of helium nightmares
At night
I dream of ways
To pop
Tie rocks
To my shoelaces
Attempting
To escape
The pull
12/30
How many cigarettes does it take
To kill yourself?
I’ve asked myself this question
Too many times
Kill your lungs
Ruin your liver
The body replenishes what it takes
To stay alive
I tell myself
What is living
When dying is the only thing you think about?
Pick your vice
We all have them
It’s coffee
Or sex
Or gossip
Or cigarettes
We are each choosing the ways
To kill ourselves
Slowly
Light the fuse
And it will lead us
Where we are all destined to go
This is the strangest life I have ever known
I’m amazed I’ve escaped with a just a nicotine habit
And a drinking problem
Careless
Of the enjoyment I could be having
With heroin
The paths that still outstretch their hands
The moment we are born
We are dying
It is just a slow process
There is no shame in quickening the steps
13/30
I never asked to be a poet
I realize now
I will never be the poet I would like to
Just the cliche ramble
Of an individual
With too much to say
14/30
What is poetry?
For me, it has always been the moment
Take the sliver of an instant
And breathe
Awaken the nail beds
And make those fingers earn their keep
Never moving as fast as they’re supposed to
Netting the dreams of the wilderness
Trying to catch moonlight